Writer's Block: Ohhh, baby
Oct. 20th, 2009 02:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wendykh[Error: unknown template qotd]
I am pretty sure I'd do it as long as we're talking egg or sperm donation here and not surrogacy. I'm not sure I'd be a good candidate for that after the difficult pregnancy I had with CJ. However, I'd only do it if it was handled somewhat like an open adoption. As in the child just grew up knowing they came from my egg or Pat's sperm or whatever, and we could see and interact with the kid like extended family. Favourite aunt and uncle or something like that. Interestingly, I do not think I could do it if it was my egg AND his sperm together. One of the parties would have to be a donor not in our couple.
My opinion has changed wildly on this over the years. Reason? I talked to a woman who was adopted and found her birth mother years later. She (adoptee) became an egg donor because she thought the idea of going through an entire pregnancy and then giving your baby up was just a horrible burden to place on a mother, and that as long as there were women wanting to be mothers, there would continue to be coercion on women in less-than-fabulous circumstances to give up their babies (like how her mom was coerced). So she felt with every egg she donated, that was one less mother coerced into giving a child up. For some reason, that made a lot of sense to me.
Edited to answer the last part of the Q: How it would affect the friendship/relationship would depend entirely on who was the recipient!
I am pretty sure I'd do it as long as we're talking egg or sperm donation here and not surrogacy. I'm not sure I'd be a good candidate for that after the difficult pregnancy I had with CJ. However, I'd only do it if it was handled somewhat like an open adoption. As in the child just grew up knowing they came from my egg or Pat's sperm or whatever, and we could see and interact with the kid like extended family. Favourite aunt and uncle or something like that. Interestingly, I do not think I could do it if it was my egg AND his sperm together. One of the parties would have to be a donor not in our couple.
My opinion has changed wildly on this over the years. Reason? I talked to a woman who was adopted and found her birth mother years later. She (adoptee) became an egg donor because she thought the idea of going through an entire pregnancy and then giving your baby up was just a horrible burden to place on a mother, and that as long as there were women wanting to be mothers, there would continue to be coercion on women in less-than-fabulous circumstances to give up their babies (like how her mom was coerced). So she felt with every egg she donated, that was one less mother coerced into giving a child up. For some reason, that made a lot of sense to me.
Edited to answer the last part of the Q: How it would affect the friendship/relationship would depend entirely on who was the recipient!
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Date: 2009-10-20 11:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-20 11:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-20 11:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-20 11:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-20 11:43 pm (UTC)maybe a romanian..
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Date: 2009-10-20 11:49 pm (UTC)I think I'd move to say, Florida or something, and have donor egg and my sperm (were I you) implanted in a surrogate. I would totally definitely not use the surrogate herself's eggs, else danger of winding up like:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21435600/
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Date: 2009-10-20 11:51 pm (UTC)Why cant I just buy a 9$ bottle of Dep-wine to acquire a baby, like everyone else does. :\
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Date: 2009-10-22 03:54 am (UTC)Is this not the equivalent of buying a puppy at a puppy mill instead of adopting one from a shelter?
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Date: 2009-10-22 04:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-22 04:58 am (UTC)