One Cranky Wendy
Sep. 27th, 2007 02:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wendykhI am in one BAD mood.
Before I begin, let it be known in case you haven't noticed already, that I suffer from extreme insomnia. Part of my problem is that once awoken, no matter how tired I am, I cannot get back to sleep. Let it also be known that while shutting off one's phone or putting it on silent is a fabulous idea, the fact that I have fabulous children and the husband has a usually fabulous job requiring 24/7 availability precludes this. Finally, let it be known that this is not in any way directed at one specific individual, but I can count no less than NINE (9) people guilty of this in the last month.
I'm going to be blunt.
Unless someone is dead, in jail, or in the hospital (requiring either surgery, casting, or more than 10 stitches), if it's between 12 midnight and 9am, neither Pat nor I want to hear about it. This time frame shifts to 1am-11am on Friday and Saturday evenings. Texting is totally fine.
If it involves any of the words "Concordia" "meeting" "sustainability" "CFS" "security" or "mobilize," I, in particular, REALLY do not want to hear about it.
So let's do a primer.
"My grandma died. I am sad. I think I'll call Wendy."
It depends. Is your grandma over the age of 60? Oh she's 95. Did she die unexpectedly? Oh she had cancer the last ten years you say. Were you extremely close to her? Oh she hasn't recognized you in two decades and you haven't seen her in 5 years and basically want to cry to Wendy about how guilty you feel? Okay yeah that should wait until morning.
It's 3:45am and I just got a ticket for drinking in the park! FASCISTS! OMG I am calling Pat RIGHT NOW!
You do and I swear to god I will not allow him to discount your fees. And I bill around here.
Um, I just got picked up on a bench warrant for a jaywalking ticket I got in Toronto and never paid, and I have no cash, and I am totally in jail, and this sucks, and it's scary...
It's okay. I'll put you right through. This is a GOOD reason to call. I'll make you some tea. It's gonna be okay.
Concordia Security....
STFU. Hang up the phone. Just don't. We don't care and we probably will call them and thank them. Unless like, you're beat up or something. And even then you probably deserved it. And DO NOT tell me you had work to do. There is absolutely nothing needing doing at Concordia University at 2am in September.
I went to Reggie's and got super drunk and threw up all over the Java U bathroom (keepin' it classy!) and got in a fight with some fascist right winger and their bouncer totally threw me out and I'm so filing a complaint and I so think you need to know this RIGHT NOW!"
We so don't care. Not between midnight and 9am anyway. And to be brutally honest I only care at all probably to laugh at your story. I will probably call said right wing fascist and thank them and tell them next time wear brass knuckles if you call us during the Bermuda Triangle Hours of Phone Time to tell us.
I'm sad...
Again, we don't care between midnight and 9am.
Do you have so and so's number? I need to talk to them right now about some super important meeting about some super important mobilization....
Well then you should have called us before if it was so fucking important now shouldn't you have?
I have a totally awesome plan for a political coup and you so need to hear about it RIGHT NOW.
If you thought it up between midnight and 9am I sincerely doubt it was well formulated. Tell us about it after you get some sleep.
OMG I have the best idea EVAR for a RPG scenario!
Yeah here's my scenario. The DM's wife is going to EAT YOUR SOUL and spit it INTO THE TOILET and then put all your plate mail into a fricking recycling bin.
I'm super trashed and partying, I'll call Wendy and Pat and see if they wanna hang out!
Text. It's your friend. Use it.
But this made me laugh. If you're not opposed to the LOLconcept and religious blasphemy in a witty way, you might laugh as well. http://loltheist.com/
Before I begin, let it be known in case you haven't noticed already, that I suffer from extreme insomnia. Part of my problem is that once awoken, no matter how tired I am, I cannot get back to sleep. Let it also be known that while shutting off one's phone or putting it on silent is a fabulous idea, the fact that I have fabulous children and the husband has a usually fabulous job requiring 24/7 availability precludes this. Finally, let it be known that this is not in any way directed at one specific individual, but I can count no less than NINE (9) people guilty of this in the last month.
I'm going to be blunt.
Unless someone is dead, in jail, or in the hospital (requiring either surgery, casting, or more than 10 stitches), if it's between 12 midnight and 9am, neither Pat nor I want to hear about it. This time frame shifts to 1am-11am on Friday and Saturday evenings. Texting is totally fine.
If it involves any of the words "Concordia" "meeting" "sustainability" "CFS" "security" or "mobilize," I, in particular, REALLY do not want to hear about it.
So let's do a primer.
"My grandma died. I am sad. I think I'll call Wendy."
It depends. Is your grandma over the age of 60? Oh she's 95. Did she die unexpectedly? Oh she had cancer the last ten years you say. Were you extremely close to her? Oh she hasn't recognized you in two decades and you haven't seen her in 5 years and basically want to cry to Wendy about how guilty you feel? Okay yeah that should wait until morning.
It's 3:45am and I just got a ticket for drinking in the park! FASCISTS! OMG I am calling Pat RIGHT NOW!
You do and I swear to god I will not allow him to discount your fees. And I bill around here.
Um, I just got picked up on a bench warrant for a jaywalking ticket I got in Toronto and never paid, and I have no cash, and I am totally in jail, and this sucks, and it's scary...
It's okay. I'll put you right through. This is a GOOD reason to call. I'll make you some tea. It's gonna be okay.
Concordia Security....
STFU. Hang up the phone. Just don't. We don't care and we probably will call them and thank them. Unless like, you're beat up or something. And even then you probably deserved it. And DO NOT tell me you had work to do. There is absolutely nothing needing doing at Concordia University at 2am in September.
I went to Reggie's and got super drunk and threw up all over the Java U bathroom (keepin' it classy!) and got in a fight with some fascist right winger and their bouncer totally threw me out and I'm so filing a complaint and I so think you need to know this RIGHT NOW!"
We so don't care. Not between midnight and 9am anyway. And to be brutally honest I only care at all probably to laugh at your story. I will probably call said right wing fascist and thank them and tell them next time wear brass knuckles if you call us during the Bermuda Triangle Hours of Phone Time to tell us.
I'm sad...
Again, we don't care between midnight and 9am.
Do you have so and so's number? I need to talk to them right now about some super important meeting about some super important mobilization....
Well then you should have called us before if it was so fucking important now shouldn't you have?
I have a totally awesome plan for a political coup and you so need to hear about it RIGHT NOW.
If you thought it up between midnight and 9am I sincerely doubt it was well formulated. Tell us about it after you get some sleep.
OMG I have the best idea EVAR for a RPG scenario!
Yeah here's my scenario. The DM's wife is going to EAT YOUR SOUL and spit it INTO THE TOILET and then put all your plate mail into a fricking recycling bin.
I'm super trashed and partying, I'll call Wendy and Pat and see if they wanna hang out!
Text. It's your friend. Use it.
But this made me laugh. If you're not opposed to the LOLconcept and religious blasphemy in a witty way, you might laugh as well. http://loltheist.com/
